Posted in Moody Monday

“I Deserve It!”

“You gotta do what’s best for YOU.” This phrase bothers me so much; or the ever so common, “Do what makes YOU happy.” When did that become the way we live? When did our society become so focused on our individual selves that we are now encouraged to always put ourselves first? Maybe I am the youngest generation that was raised with an attitude to serve others, but honestly? I hear adults say this to each other on a daily basis! It’s a “nobody else matters” attitude and it’s just shocking to me.p4211051-small

I was raised to put others first, to an extent. I credit the empathy, compassion, and generosity I feel toward others to God and my parents. They taught me to put others needs ahead of my own wants and I believe that has impacted every part of my life as I grew up. My siblings and I have always stood out among our co-workers in every job we have had because we are willing to go the extra mile in most cases. I am not saying in any way that you should let people take advantage of your kindness, but that people should know you by your service to others. Why are we teaching our kids and encouraging our adult friends that they are the most important person in the world? I know that if you asked most parents, they would not tell you that they want their kids to grow up selfish and uncaring but that is how we are raising them.

We are teaching our kids that their wants come before the needs of others no matter the cost. I see so many parents who have trained their toddlers to believe that they run the household. Everything centers around what they scream and cry for. They are given what they want as they demand it, and it’s not what any parent actually wants for their child. We are afraid of dealing with an upset child which leads us to inadvertently teaching them that they atoddlertantrumstorere the most important thing in the world.

Now, don’t misunderstand. I believe children are important, but we should be training them to put others first whenever possible. This idea that we “deserve it” is completely against the Bible; in fact, the Bible says the opposite! If we are honest about what we deserve, it would be Hell and condemnation. Christ has given us everything and we deserve nothing and in return we should be giving everything we can. After all, we can’t take anything with us when we die.

If we could start getting the idea of “deserving” everything out of our minds and start putting others needs before our own wants, I’m sure the world would be a much happier place. Let’s start the new year with a resolution to think less of ourselves and think more of others. Even when it’s an inconvenience, even when you’d rather do sserveotherspfomething else, and even when it’s something that you don’t necessarily WANT to do. If it helps someone else and you are physically able to do it, start taking the time to do random acts of kindness. Or would you rather start getting what you actually do deserve?…

Check this list out for some ideas of random acts of kindness you can try in the new year!

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3 thoughts on ““I Deserve It!”

  1. I understand what you’re saying, but generally when I hear people say “Do what’s best for you” or “Do what makes you happy” it’s because those people are living to please the people around them and sacrificing their own happiness. Getting a specific degree because that’s what their parents wanted them to do. Staying with a partner even though it’s a terrible relationship because that’s what everyone thinks you should do. I agree we are supposed to serve others, but not at the sacrifice of our own happiness.

    On the other hand, I do agree with you that our generation and younger are becoming increasingly selfish. But I honestly believe this is because of bad parenting. Parents are afraid to tell their children “No” or have rules because they don’t want to hurt their feelings. There is too much negotiation going on instead of just parents being parents. It’s not going to damage a 2-year old to simply say “Don’t throw rocks in the pool” instead of needing a whole explanation “The pool is our friend. Rocks hurt the pool. We aren’t going to do that today.” I want my child to do what I ask immediately without needing an explanation right then. Will I provide an explanation later? Maybe, if necessary. But if they are running out into the street and I yell “Stop!” I want them to stop in their tracks-not wait for an explanation behind the “stop” first. I believe parents having this fear of not having your children like you is creating terribly behaved children. Nothing is set in stone-everything is negotiable.

    But back to my original point, yes, I think we should help others and think of others to an extent, but we need to do things for ourselves as well. There needs to be balance.

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    1. Yes I agree with you. I didn’t really think about that point of view. Normally when I hear the phrase it’s about little things but I can definitely see about the bigger things it makes sense. Actually, while I was writing it I came across a couple things that were talking about deserving a promotion or whatever. I couldn’t really argue with that. I was more talking about the sense of feeling like the world revolves around you and everyone should cater to you because you are most important. I need to be more clear in my writing I think because that’s the second post I have gotten feedback like this on. 🙂
      Thank you!

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  2. My comment is similar to Rachel’s. I lived most of my life serving others and never dreaming of doing something for me. I stuck around at various jobs because I felt they would miss me too much. The first time I made the decision to leave a job and move to Rochester was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. I even cried because I knew I’d be disappointing my employer. But once I made the decision, it was such a relief. I didn’t realize I felt trapped until I decided that it would be ok and the world doesn’t revolve around me, in that way. Life will go on, the world will keep turning. Now, I don’t make those types of decisions based on whether someone might be depending on me or not. I take it into consideration, but everyone is dispensible. Leading to where I am today. I’m out here pursuing the only dream I ever let myself dream, and my world back home kept turning without me. The dream is changing, and things may not end up like I thought when I came out here, but the experience will be priceless.

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